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The Splash 114 | Pissing in Your Wetsuit

Updated: Dec 12, 2022



There are very few times in life where you get to start over.


They are rare, like a diamond hiding in the rough but if you seek carefully, you will find them. I am on about my 8th chance of starting everything over. I have recently quit my job in hopes of a better one and found myself taking some time out to just simply fucking relax.


The majority of my time off has been spent surfing. Going from the usual once or twice a week to several times a week has been an utter blessing. As mentioned in the past surfing is almost a full-day commitment due to travel times etc.


It's still wetsuit season here in Australia as the weather still continues to be cold in the mornings despite being spring. A 3/2 summer suit is all you need for Australian winters. It is not uncommon for the water to be warmer than the air temperature, especially on the east coast.


I always have a piss before I enter the water.


I do this because I’m still not sure where I stand on taking a piss in my wetsuit. The rules to me are like this:


*Piss before you enter the water as a sign of courtesy to your fellow surfers.


*Should you need a piss while surfing then you’re free to piss as a last resort but at a suitable distance from anyone else (at least 10 meters).


*Pooping is not acceptable.


I rarely piss while surfing. Back home in the UK, I used to surf with guys who would purposely piss in their suits especially in winter as a way of warming up in extreme temperatures. This just didn’t sit right with me.


A wetsuit is by design supposed to let water in but also let water out. If you piss in your suit, your whole body will be in contact with your own urine for a decent amount of time, before it is inevitably flushed out. More often than not I use to see people purposely trying to flush their suits to get any piss trapped out of their suits.


Wearing suits 5mm or more also leaves the awkwardness of not being able to flush out your suit throughout the duration of your surf. You can literally smell when a person has not been able to flush out their suit when they get changed. Their suit stinks of piss, their towel stinks of piss, and most of all, they stink of piss!


When I take a step back and look at the line-up of surfers I always wonder, “how many of them have just taken a piss?” I’m prone to accidentally swallowing water from time to time just like anyone else or spitting out the froth that has just entered my mouth. Again, always wondering if I have a mouthful of someone else's piss.


I wish the ol' swimming pool rumour of dye in the water which detected urine was true. If by some chance this could be applied to wetsuits, we would have a never-ending stream of dark blues and purples. Make it worse and make it monstrous green just to really freak people out.


For those lurking and pissing in the ocean to fulfil a weird fantasy you may or may not have just be a good person and piss before you go, at least be somewhat courteous.

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