The Splash 111 – Eastern Australia's Shit Winter Swell

Updated: Aug 30

As I’ve complained/vented about in the past, surfing is sort of a side hobby these days. I must travel one hour each way and can only surf on weekends as I have a full-time job.

Woe is fucking me.

Believe me when I say if I had my way, this would not be the case. I would be rich enough to buy a house on the Sunshine Coast, doing this would be my main source of income and still I would have to deal with this year's awful cast of shit winter swell.

Not only has it been one of the coldest winters recorded here in Australia, but it's been a ‘flat’ one in surfing lingo.

It just seems to measure up that every weekend, and I mean every fucking weekend, the surf is just appalling. Although Surfline allows for that small window to view the surf, it is just not worth the time. 1–2ft beach dumps all equipped with below average temperatures is just not worth even packing the boards.

Usually here, the winters are met with air temps peaking at roughly 20–22 degrees, waves forming into 4–5ft slices of glassy heaven as they peel toward that crooked shoreline drenched in the sun's awe. In the past, we have spent many days on the beach in winter as it feels like being back home.

This winter we have not been once.

Now I know nature is nature and all that bullshit and believe me I understand this is a situation out of my hands but when the surf is always looking decent Monday to Friday then flatter than a nun's tit on the weekend, you cannot help but feel the powers above are shitting on the average worker Joe.

Surfing is a form of therapy, period. Without it, I get irritated, unstimulated, and urge for that baptism that evokes in me when I do finally surf. All sins laid to rest.

So, while I sit here patiently waiting for that swell to finally pull through, I am documenting it now as one of the worst winters for surfing in Australia!

As we are reaching the tail end of winter and slowly transitioning into the summer months, of course it will return along with the blistering heat and every else that comes with it. For now, I will just have to keep substituting surfing for a skateboard and to formulate a dream.

I could always buy a paddle board?!?!