The 'fucking' hot mess #surfing has become



If you feel the title is dramatic, give this a chance, let us sway you to the side of reason and understanding.

Surfing, the continuous love/hate relationship only a surfer will understand. A sheer frustration to the attitude and fucking weird deluded reality that surfing has become. As I scroll the daily feeds of #surfing on Instagram, I feel nauseous. Endless dribble, dribble pouring and pouring with a slight sparkle of gold flaking every once in a while. Surfing has lost its true purpose, we’ve known this for a long time, however, surfing has become more of a trend to make people seem fucking interesting.


The endless pre-surf photos (which we know are a big no-no) captioned with phrases like “Summer Vibes” and “vitamin sea”. Add in a drastic sunset in Bali, little to no clothing, holding your 8 ft yellow foamie, an influencer's wet dream, for what? So, we see it and think, “Oh wow, how gnarly dude, you surf? Again, that’s gnarly. You are one really interesting and cultured member of society!”



We get it, if you are just starting out in surfing it is exciting, we are not that cold-hearted but there's no need to flaunt a new you, it's not impressing anyone. This is where the surf industry is going wrong, some companies feed off this bullshit and promote it rather than keep surfing true, why? Cause they can draw in the mosquitos to suck the blood, to feed and fatten off whatever they are selling, the vicious cycle.


There just seems to be this natural draw for influencers and other deluded members of society trying to take a chunk out of surfing and trying to make a profit off it. If it's not the latest swimwear, then it’s the latest protein powder, yoga pants or smoothie; add a surfboard in the background and ‘WHAM’ you’ve got your ad. There's a fine line between culture and just trying to fit in. Surfing really has no need or want to be a part of product placements, this health and wellness stigma associated with surfing is beyond boring.



Let's dive even deeper down the rabbit hole and talk about Only Fans. How the fuck did this spew into surfing, thanks, Ellie-Jean Coffey. Only Fans is just fucking weird, the sheer desperation of getting people to pay for your nudes, sure you might make a killing and maybe I'm showing my age but fuck, hold on to your dignity. Back to Ellie, what a serious fucking mess, decent surfer now just turned to surf porn. This is the new type of desperation that sadly has a knock-on effect on the surfing community. Instead of empowering women and encouraging them to push with surfing and be part of a community, statements like these show that’s there's no money in surfing and selling nude pictures or filming a 20-minute dildo session seems to be the only way to make a living.


Is there a solution to the inevitable? Maybe not. Sounds pessimistic I know, but with today's society being what it is, we are all just too caught up worrying about how we perceive ourselves online. The more and more our lives are reflected on a screen, the more and more we fight to stay relevant. A sad reality, especially in the world of surfing as the stigma continuously grows and blooms the dark seed. There are those rare brands that fight back, give the middle finger and fuck your normality. A few worthy mentions include Hayden Shapes, Vans, Volcom (are they still cool?), FORMER, and RVCA. These brands show the darker side to surfing and it fucking works.



So the next time you feel the need to tag using #surfing just make sure you’re keeping it genuine and about surfing. If you’re posing against an Indonesian sunset, coconut water in one hand and hire board in the other and “Living your best life”, I will find you! If you are on Only Fans then fuck, congratulations? As for any influencers reading this, do us a favour and give up, especially if you “surf”, the world would be a happier place, you egotistical piece of shit. As always have fun of course.